From Darkness to Light - Ruth's Story

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Those who know me, see me as a “glass half full” kind of gal. As a matter of fact, I have a black belt in optimism! But my life hasn’t always been this way. In my 40’s I had it all. I was at the top of my career, had a wonderful family, a beautiful home, travelled to amazing places, loved my church and had fabulous friends. But I felt empty. 

One evening, I had a horrific panic attack which resulted in a trip to the hospital. Through several weeks of testing and evaluation, I was diagnosed with depression. How could that be?! I was happy, or so I thought.

I began taking anti-depressants, saw a psychiatrist and a therapist on a regular basis and continued to go through the motions of life. I thought I was doing well until a sweet friend said that all the light was gone from my eyes. 

Depression affected my life in many ways, but most significantly, I couldn’t sleep -  resulting in being tired all the time, and I lost hope. Sleep came with the aid of sleeping pills, but hope was not something that couldn’t be fixed with drugs.

During that time, I had a hard time praying but gratefully, my family and friends were praying for me. God had me in the palm of His hand, but I couldn’t feel it. My mind knew it, but my heart wasn’t responding. 

A significant event occurred in my life that propelled me into a panic. I found myself in my psychiatrist’s office begging for help. There was no room in her schedule, so I was sent home. I knew that something had to happen. I didn't know what to do and didn't know where to begin.  I felt completely lost.

I can’t tell you exactly how or when it happened, but God led me to stop taking the anti-depressants. My depression was cured by the Great Physician! I’d like to say that I was instantly healed, but I wasn’t. In time, I started to feel like living again, and slivers of hope returned. It was a journey of faith and trust.

Each day, I leaned on God's promises and His unfailing love. There were moments of doubt and struggle, but through it all, I held onto the belief that God had a plan for me. Gradually, the darkness lifted, and I began to see the light of hope and joy.

This experience taught me that healing is not always immediate, but it is possible. God walks with us through the valleys, and His presence brings comfort and strength.

My life today has been shaped significantly by this experience. We don’t all get a chance to contrast our lives with so much distinction, but gratefully, I have been blessed with this perspective. I’ve learned to let go of the past and cherish my present. 

Today, I wake up excited about the day and I share a wonderful life with my children, grandchildren, extended family and my sweet husband, Buck. We live in a log home the Sam Houston National Forest in Huntsville, Texas. Though a huge change for this city girl, I've learned to  love all the joys that living in the forest brings.

My greatest gift is that God called me to minister to women’s hearts through speaking to ladies' groups, writing, leading Bible studies, coordinating ladies’ retreats and sweet conversations.